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When you've had enough of this, head back into the locker room, take one more, final, shower, then apply one of the myriad creams to your body. And lastly, head for the sleep room. One of the attendants will help you up onto a small bed and tuck you in for a half-hour's nap.


Then it's back to your locker. If you were smart, you brought clean underwear and socks with you ­ you certainly don't want to put your dirty stuff on your wonderfully clean body!

Now, if they only served wine . . .